The past year has had its share of ups and downs. Its been shortened to the top 50 images based on user votes. [my husband has the man flu. Staying married after going to IKEA on a Saturday with an empty stomach, is not. ": 40 Hilarious Before-And-After Pictures, As Shared By These Women With A Sense Of Humor (New Pics), 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid, 30 Informative And Fun Food Charts For Anyone Trying To Eat Smarter, Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" Haha, I can relate! Accidentally forgot to pat my husbands butt when he bent over today and he spent the entire day thinking I was mad at him. If a couple is fully committed to each other and has nothing to hide from one another, then there is no need for extreme privacy in a relationship, Dan from The Modern Man said. Is. Me, giving my husbands eulogy: Its so hard In his latest comedy special, Til Death, America's favorite . Married Sexting: Im not wearing any underwear because you never put the laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 flipping times. She has a dynamic set of experiences from advertising, academia, and journalism. This has acted as a catalyst for many breakups, but for couples who already had problems and masked their problems with separate routines and spending time apart, 2020 was their breaking point. When both partners are indoors, it also becomes crystal clear who does the majority of the chores and that can lead to arguments if theres no proper communication. Has he never made a toasted PB&J before? Hey Pandas, What Is Your Favorite Conspiracy Theory? Our SO is someone we spend a large part of our daily life with. A huge fan of literature, films, philosophy, and tabletop games, he also has a special place in his heart for anything related to fantasy or science fiction. My husband: peacefully sleeping looking like an angel. For that reason, only married people will relate to these hilarious funny marriage tweets. She can eat your fries. I know it's true love because starting at 5am his alarm goes off like 4 times every single day, and he's still alive. But we did go into marriage already giving each other reports about our poops, so nothing much has changed. Surgeon: I can't find the clot no shower, no real meals, no going outside. Sure, marriage is about love, trust and the occasional romantic date nightbut it's mostly about all-weekend Netflix binges, yelling to each other from opposite ends of the house . Every other Monday, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the last two weeks. ", DATING: cant wait to see you again They may not be pretty, but they're probably also dangerous since you're definitely not doing them correctly. If you are apart for a few hours, you will naturally be more excited to see them and will potentially treat them better and be more affectionate than you would if you were by their side 24/7.. I just recently celebrated six months of being married. Normally, married people are able to go out and connect with friends, family, and coworkers., The pandemic has put an end to that, which means that we have had to rely on our spouses for almost all of our companionship needs. Lise further explained that for some couples, particularly the ones who were already unhappy, this time has been extremely tiring.. "I just found out my husband eats spaghetti with a spoon, so I can't listen to your problems right now.". Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. These are hilarious! I would KILL HIM. I hope you enjoy and visit often! All Rights Reserved. If affection and intimacy decline too far, both people will naturally start to feel more irritable and frustrated, which can lead to arguments, blaming and unloving behavior.. Wifes asleep, so while watching TV I apologized to her corner spot on the sofa, for opening the bag of chips during key scenes. Does that mean I have to do that thing he likes? You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. Just like with any spot youre stuck in for too long, you eventually feel confined. Which one of these tweets about marriage is your favorite? Wife: *motions vaguely in the direction of my entire life*, My wife said shed buy her own birthday cake this is a test right. Marriage license applications must be completed on-line. Bored Panda has collected some of the most hilarious tweets that show what married life is like now, so scroll down and upvote your faves. By entering your email and clicking Sign Up, you're agreeing to let us send you customized marketing messages about us and our advertising partners. Amazing. I think he's embarrassed that he has so many questions. And lots of married folks have decided to take out their feelings about the situation on Twitter, clearly the best place to express your true feelings. We respect your privacy. Me: *yelling through the front door* THANKS FOR THE DELIVERY. It's the best, by far. Husband: What are you watching? Chat. Making Sunday breakfast before marriage: Cute and funMaking Sunday breakfast after marriage and kids: Rage beating eggs and passive aggressively burning bacon, Me - I can't find the sea salt.Wife - It's next to the paprika.Me - No it isn't. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. Guys, never go to bed if youre still fighting with your wife. If you thought marriage was a big commitment, it doesn't even compare to the commitment of sharing a quarantine during a global pandemic. Hard seltzer is hard to perfect, and sorry, but Whiteclaw ain't it. Me: I havent shaved, I'm really gassy and my hemorrhoids are killing me. There's $500 I'll never get back. I think they'll both happen. Me: (stands up) 28 Of The Funniest Tweets About Married Life (Feb. 22 - March 7) Kelsey Borresen March 7, 2022, 4:27 PM Marriage is full of highs, lows and a whole bunch of ordinary moments in between. Most stay at home orders contain provisions for seeking safety- especially from domestic violence. Welcome to marriage. Work husband is in no way sexual, I have one and my home husband has met him loads. But first and foremost, how do they escape when they spend nearly 24/7 with their tormentor? Rather than taking every disagreement so seriously, try to use some humor to lighten the mood and allow both of you to see that you dont need to be so serious and uptight about things. Sorry. But its worth repeating. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. This guy probably has a job and bills to pay, yet he does stuff like this. For couples that have a healthy relationship, that are doing pretty well, there are some ways this could bring people closer together, Saxbe said about couples who can figure out how to weather this pandemic together. It was always a problem, but now that we're in quarantine and barely wearing shoes, it's worse than ever. Me: Yes. @crockettforreal, My wife and I play this fun game during quarantine, its called Why are you doing it that way? and there are no winners. So I get this. My wife gets a delivery almost every day.Something came for me today, and in a judgmental tone she said "What did you order? These are all hilarious. 25 Funny Married Couples Who Are Just Trying To Keep It Together Now 25 Married Couples Who Are Just Trying To Keep It Together During Quarantine by Ruin My Week 11. Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. But whether we're talking about the ordinary or the extraordinary, some spouses find a way to treat marriage with a healthy dose of humor. We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. Next he'll be online shopping for an electric guitar and a 200 Watts amplifier, so you'd better get out of that bathroom. In 34 years on this planet Ive learned one very important lesson that Im going to pass on to you fellas. In his spare time, Jonas writes books and short stories and likes to draw lighthearted illustrations. Kids are brutal and ruthless and unfiltered. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Obsessed with travel? Me: What? I'm a lucky man. Me, A bottle of champagne. Most safe havens and associations are closed, hotels as well. It's different enough from our own experience that it's exciting. Talk. Like why isnt there one with a husband and wife and the wife chokes violently on her spit and the husband gets alarmed they spend a good 5 mins with her coughing and him smacking her on the back and then the mood is gone so they go get donuts? And my partner, who's normally in the city or commutingthey'll be around and they'll help more. I decided to contact him because I love my wife so much and we have been apart for a couple of months I really missed her so much, I have tried all other means to get her back but couldn't. My wife: Your account is not active. Wife: Looking for more laughs? I swear, sometimes I don't understand how men survive. Being married and caring for and homeschooling kids during the pandemic is a triple whammy. pic.twitter.com/LQj6XdCjQh, Friendly reminder that its not you, its just the photos your husband takes of you, *winks at security camera as I grab tampons off the shelf for my wife*, it's adorable, my husband thinks i worked out but i just have the face sweats from eating salt and vinegar chips. Are you sitting on it again?Me: No.Husband: Stand up. 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Twitter / @tchrquotes I can't tell you how many times I've had dreams in which I was mad at my husband and then I woke up mad at him in real life for doing the thing he did in the dream. And somehow, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in no more than 280 characters. The plain sight one is typical of my husband. [hears husband calling me from the bathroom] When #marriedlife is too funny not to share. Me: *yelling through the front door* THANKS FOR THE DELIVERY. Youve got some good ones there. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? Error occurred when generating embed. He got that from me.. Denis is a photo editor at Bored Panda. My husband is an essential worker and continues to go into the office. If anything, the boundaries have just disappeared altogether. We will not publish or share your email address in any way. Me: This is a nightmare for me. Well, we rounded up some of the funniest recent tweets we could find about being married, and they prove that marriage is indeed for better, for worse, and for hilarious as hell: If you think these married people are as hilarious as I do, be sure to follow them on Twitter. 1 I've decided to turn the spare bedroom into an extra dining room so my husband can chew apart from me. Is your husband mature or does he ask you to hold his salty nutsack every time he hands you a bag of pistachios at Whole Foods? MIL: You have to teach them really young to pick up after themselves He just needed the motivation of a deadly pandemic. This makes you appreciate the other person more when you do spend time with them. What are you interested in hearing about? Carly believes it may have to do with a disproportionate share of housework and childcare that falls on females in heterosexual households. After 6 weeks of quarantine: husband is annoying. Me [already naked]: WHY WOULD I SAY NO? Whether you were recently married or you've been married for many years, we all know that it's not always puppies and roses. Husband: so let me tell you about the history of rockets. I control the tv remote while he sighs. Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! When are men available to do chores? When boxes arrive from Amazon I just tell my husband theyre Christmas presents for him and he doesnt ask questions. And I think the reality for many has been a far cry from that.. This comment is hidden. It has that weird sour, malty taste that cannot by masked by grapefruit essence. Every other Monday, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the last two weeks. 20 2020, Updated 1:36 p.m. my husband even manages to make chewing noise when eating ice cream!! Me: you bastard, Omg, I do that too! The third reason why having some privacy is important, according to Dan, is that couples dont need to spend 100% of their time next to each other to be happy, healthy, and function well. Below, check out 50 of the best ones that will have you laughing into 2022. Do you have any? Wife: Are you just going to walk around all day without a shirt on? My situation is neither that nor I consider it to be like other's. Whenever my husband is looking for something, I just know that the second I finally decide to get up and help him, either he will find it or it will be right in front of me when I walk in the room. 1. You dont want to have to pretend in front of them. Sent my husband nudes and he asked me which mole I was worried about. Me: How did THAT happen? Every time you want to wear your hair up I have to finish the chips. Me: are you sleeping? All thanks goes to DR Iwisa for the excessive work that he has done for me for helping me get my ex back . You can read more about it and change your preferences, Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. ely kreimendahl (@ElyKreimendahl) February 11, 2023. It shouldn't hurt your feelings.Husband during quarantine: *crying into gallon of ice cream* I just don't know why she'd say that to me? This time, she has set out on a journey to investigate the ways in which we communicate ideas on a large scale. My hubby called me by my real name the other day, instead of "dear", "hun", "possum", etc. Funniest Tweets About Marriage - The Super Mom Life Funniest Tweets About Marriage Author: Heather Category: Laughs Published Date: 02/22/2021 Comments: 48 Share with a friend! Please use high-res photos without watermarks. The Bored Panda iOS app is live! 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. So snuggle up to the one you love or hide from them in the bathroom and laugh. Wife: What are you guys playing?Me: Hopscotch. hello? On a completely unrelated note, my husband has quit asking for sex. If I go missing, it's because I adjusted the thermostat 1 warmer while she was sleeping. Finally, around 2016, he started learning how to use Photoshop and hasn't stopped since. I found the best tweets about marriage to make you smile and maybe even spark up a conversation between you and your spouse. Me: *pauses show* But theres only 64 episodes left. My wife asked me if she had any annoying habits and then got all offended during the power point presentation. My wife's favorite spatula for I don't know20 years broke on me this morning. You can not eat her fries. Ah, yes, a classic game. Its been really nice. Every other week, we round up the funniest marriage tweets of the previous 14 days. Husband: *snoring*Me: jfc. Is that a threat? Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. I ran out of deodorant four days ago. Please enter your email to complete registration. A day after a mother killed her 8-year-old daughter, then turned the gun on herself, the Dallas Police Department is reporting a spike in domestic violence amid the coronavirus shutdown. Burpees take on a whole new meaning when you try to do them drunk. He was obsessed with playing and making music in his teens. I still clean the kitchen and make dinner but we still share the chores. 28, 2022 via @sixfootcandy/twitter, Getty Images Whether you're single (and waiting to mingle) or you've. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. If anything, the boundaries have just disappeared altogether. Distractify is a registered trademark. In his spare time, he creates graphic collages and even had his first artwork exhibition at "Devilstone". Me: *watching my husband take off his socks and leave them in the middle of the living room*, overheard my wife telling old friends from high school that weve been married for 18yrs, and when they asked whats ur secret, my wife said low standards wtf. US residents can opt out of "sales" of personal data. So, I hope that the men who are experiencing relationship problems during the Covid-19 pandemic are learning what they can to improve their relationship and avoid a breakup or divorce when society goes back to normal, Dan told Bored Panda. Marriage or a long-term relationship can be quite funny at times. Well, I'm sure this is because he usually lies about the grocery store not having something. I have a cold and its pretty bad but my wife has a husband with a cold and apparently thats way worse. This is Quarantine 101, folks. Me: Whats your secret to 55 years of marriage? We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing. @pjtlynch, When I awoke from the car accident in a full-body cast, my wife was right at my bedside to let me know that childbirth is still more painful. Husband, from coffin: . Somehow, the spouses of Twitter continue to find humor in the minutiae of married life and sum it up perfectly in no more than 280 characters. *turns up the tv*. Hello! Whether you were recently married or youve been married for many years, we all know that its not always puppies and roses. Dad Overhears A Conversation Between His New Wife And His Son, Cancels The Mothers Day Celebration Hed Planned, Storage Company Charges Client For Something That Never Existed, So She Pretends Like It Does And Now They Have To Find It, 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page, Chefs Are Sharing 30 Common Cooking Mistakes We Need To Avoid, This Online Group Is Dedicated To Things That Are Inexplicably Satisfying, Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones (New Pics), 50 Times People Had A Beautiful Tattoo Idea And It Got Executed Perfectly, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", Someone Asks "What Makes You Not Want To Have Kids?" Please check link and try again. I just recently celebrated six months of being married. So right now about 8.5 percent of all deaths are from COVID. All over the world, people in new relationships and long-term ones are learning a lot about their partners, and themselves, as the limits of love are tested by long-term co-habitation in the time of corona.. But we did go into marriage already giving each other reports about our poops, so nothing much has changed. Are you going to stay awake past the opening credits?Wife: *already asleep*, Me: Am I annoying you?My husband: no.Also my husband: pic.twitter.com/EuhLIH7Q9T. It doesn't help when your husband tries to sabotage you at every step of the way. Say "Show whatcha got!! @kentwgraham, Marriage is just texting each other Do we need anything from the grocery store? a bunch of times until one of you dies. However, if one person cant get away from the other even for a couple of hours, then they wont be feeling as much desire to be intimate. 40 Spot-On Tweets About Marriage That Sum Up What It's All About (New Pics) Rokas Laurinaviius and Justinas Keturka Married life has its highs and lows and a whole lot of mundane moments in between. And 30 People Deliver Sincere Answers, Woman Buys Ex-Hoarder's Home With All Of Their Belongings, Spends 4 Years Cleaning When Relatives Start Demanding Heirlooms They Didn't Want, 50 Times Signs Were So Funny, People Had To Share Them On This Facebook Page, "An Entitled Mother Insists That I 'Share' My Nintendo Switch With Her Child On My Flight", AITA? I love this idea. And do I really have to live with this person forever?" during the quarantine. Husband: Tell me a fantasy of yours. 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